The Dude
by The Dude

With Quentin Tarantino’s Star Trek in warp drive, it is probably okay for us to jump the gun a little (chill guys, it’s the new year) and imagine the Enterprise set in the Tarantino’s Universe.

Spock munching on some Big Kahunas? Captain Kirk smoking Red Apples? Or both of them debating about the metric system?

Yes, yes and bloody yes.

Since we are at it, let’s be slightly more ambitious here: What if famous directors take on equally famous franchises?

Expect some familiar tropes and bring on the popcorn.

Christopher Nolan X James Bond

What you can expect: Brooding characters, non-linear storytelling, obsession with time, IMAX

Given the good reception of Daniel Craig’s rugged and somewhat imperfect James Bond, studio executives will probably be inclined to take it a notch higher with the spy’s characterisation.

And who else to give the blank cheque to but Christopher Nolan?

Nolan’s leads are usually tortured souls -- case in point: Batman, Alfred Borden (The Prestige), Cobb (Inception) just to name a few -- and coupled with the director’s fascination with non-linear storytelling, make for an epic trilogy of how Bond came to be Bond. All these in IMAX no less.

Long story short: Prepare to start thinking for the first time while watching a Bond film.

Oh and did we mention that Nolan is also a box office guarantee?

Edgar Wright X Fast & Furious

What you can expect: Shots that are cut to beat, great music, impactful quick-cut montages

Edgar Wright is, for the lack of a better expression, a gear ahead of many directors at the moment.

Last year’s Baby Driver was one of his finest films yet and that’s quite the compliment considering he directed the acclaimed Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

If you study Wright’s as close as you check your blind spot (not much for some people sadly), his go-to tropes are great music and quick-cut montages -- these filming techniques will not feel out of place in a Fast & Furious movie.

Fast & Furious 8

He’s no 0 to 100 in six seconds kinda director but one thing’s for sure: his gear transmission is one of the smoothest in the business (okay if you don’t get that expression, it means it has good pacing and doesn’t jump from cars flying into buildings to tanks on ice).

Martin Scorsese X Despicable Me

What you can expect: Long tracking shots, Leonardo DiCaprio, sociopaths, New York City, Rolling Stones music

Scorsese in an animated film?!

Now before you go all loco on us, you should check out Hugo. Actually, there are more reasons that suggest Despicable Me will be in good hands under Scorsese.

Scorsese’s leads are, more often than not, sociopaths (do we really need to remind you of Tommy Devito (GoodFellas), Travis Bickle (Taxi Driver) and Jordon Belfort (The Wolf of Wall Street) ) and guess who’s a sociopath?

Yes, Gru.

Despicable Me 3

At its heart and despite Gru’s shortcomings, Despicable Me is a crime film through and through. Which makes perfect sense to engage Scorsese given his rather lengthy list of mob films.

Also, who will say no to a supervillain voiced by frequent collaborator Leonardo DiCaprio?

David Fincher X Alien

What you can expect: Dark, moody vibes, unhappy endings, no half-baked shots

At first glance, this seems like a marriage made in heavens: a dark, moody franchise that kinda hates happy endings together with a dark, moody auteur who kinda hates happy endings.

Then it hit us that Fincher’s directorial debut was Alien 3 --  a film that he’s probably keen to erase from his IMDB credentials (to be honest, it’s not that bad). But give Fincher another shot at Alien and you can bet your last dollar that he will do everything to make it his movie.

The infamous control freak could then stamp his authority all over the set without the burden of being a greenhorn like all those years ago.

After all, this is the guy who made a gripping movie out of some petty lawsuits over some social media platform and a cult classic about some underground club that doesn’t like to be talked about.

Alien probably needs this kind of focus and direction after the whole search for meaning spiel in Prometheus

Park Chan Wook X Terminator

What you can expect: Stylised violence, loves a good revenge, not afraid of controversial themes

If you think we are letting this list slip without some Asian representation, you are sadly mistaken.

Park Chan Wook is no stranger to Hollywood, having directed Stoker and had his cult classic Oldboy remade into somewhat of a monstrosity.

But he needs a bigger entrance to America. And he has a ready-made one in Terminator, which to be honest, is on its last legs.

The governator can’t go on forever, the whole time travelling concept is stale and the plot is getting a little predictable.

A kick up the metal ass is what Terminator needs at the moment. And who better than Park who loves to serve up a cold dish of revenge, sprinkled with a generous serving of stylised violence and is not afraid to touch on even the most taboo of subjects such as incest and torture.

Sounds like a Terminator film already if you ask us.